Valentine’s Day: The Unbelievable History You Didn’t Know

Rome

January 13, 2025

While this is not your conventional story about Valentine’s Day that’s filled with romance, it’s a fascinating take on a tradition that is widely celebrated on February 14th. Read on to uncover the dark truths and surprising history of Valentine’s Day, from Roman festivals to modern customs!

Table of Contents

The Truth About Valentine’s Day

You are looking at the skull of an ancient Roman Martyr named Valentine which resides in the Roman church of Santa Maria in Cosmedin. Whether or not it’s the skull of the martyr who inspired Valentine’s Day is a matter of some debate, to put it mildly. Bound up in this debate is the unexpected history of one of the world’s most curious holidays.

Skull with a flower crown on display in a church surrounded by gilded objects and red panels with hearts

Visiting Rome? You can check out the church of Santa Maria in Cosmedin, where Saint Valentine’s skull is displayed in a glass reliquary. It is a popular attraction for visitors, particularly around Valentine’s Day.

Who Was Saint Valentine and Why Is He Celebrated?

The better question is ‘who were?’ As it turns out, Valentine and Valentina were very common names during Late Antiquity. Depending on who’s counting, there are between 12 and 14 Saint Valentines!

Included in this number were:

A Spanish hermit
A woman named Valentina
Valentine of Rome, a priest in Rome during the reign of Emperor Claudius II (around 270 CE). He is said to have been arrested for secretly marrying Christian couples and aiding Christians persecuted under Roman law. Claudius II supposedly liked Valentine at first but later condemned him to death after Valentine tried to convert the emperor.
Valentine of Terni, a bishop in Interamna (modern-day Terni, Italy), also martyred under Emperor Claudius II. He was known for healing the sick and performing miracles. According to legend, he healed the blind daughter of a jailer, and before his execution, he sent her a letter signed “Your Valentine.” This may be the origin of Valentine’s Day love notes.
Valentine of Africa, a lesser-known Valentine mentioned in early martyrologies. He was martyred in the Roman province of Africa (modern-day Tunisia or Algeria). Details of his death are sparse, but he is listed as a saint and martyr.

Some sections of the Romean crypts are incredibly creepy.

As far as we can tell, the Saint Valentine of Valentine’s Day was one of two guys preaching the good word in Rome in the third century (Valentine of Rome or Valentine of Terni). One of these two was martyred on February 14th 269, thus giving us the date for his eponymous day.

How a Pagan Festival Inspired Valentine’s Day Traditions

After he was killed, Valentine’s remains sat in the Catacombs of San Valentino for a while before moving to Santa Maria in Cosmedin (or the Basilica of Saint Valentine in Terni, if you support the claim of the other Valentine) where they were visited by pilgrims for many years. They probably would have remained venerated, but somewhat anonymous relics for the patron saint of beekeepers and people suffering from the plague had it not been for Chaucer.

Saint Valentine’s remains sat in a catacomb like this one for hundreds of years before being recovered and put on display.

Saint Valentine and the Love Connection

Geoffrey Chaucer has nothing to do with Roman martyrs. However, he has a lot to do with English literature and that’s how he created a connection between Saint Valentine and love celebrations.

The first written connection between love and Valentine’s Day appears in his poem, Parlement of Foules, written in the late 14th century. Chaucer appears to have invented the correlation that Valentine’s Day equals love and chalked it up to poetic license. The history of Valentine’s Day is a bit blurry, but it’s also possible that he was drawing from older courtly traditions.

As far as anyone can tell, this guy is the reason that people spend billions of dollars on cards, candies, and flowers every February 14th.

From Roman Roots to Romance: How Valentine’s Day Became a Holiday

Shortly after Chaucer mentioned love on Valentine’s Day, real-life lovers began to send each other love poems on February 14th. It’s possible that these predate Chaucer, but we simply don’t know.

In other words, people have been writing valentines to their loved ones for over 500 years. Even if there’s no direct connection to a guy who was murdered horribly by ancient Roman pagans, it’s still part of a serious legacy of love.

| Photo by Karen Horten via Flickr. https://www.flickr.com/photos/karenhorton/4344889051/in/photolist-7BWG9c-RnDV5A-q8jQbd-fNXxs-RTi86s-dRKMsG-AvQQh-dUDxHr-4s4cuH-4s1iMy-JvY1X-9ijxjq-QDr4rC-QFcHkZ-6182QX-9iar9h-5WywHz-5mhkYW-7C1vAy-5TzS4e-djuY4m-dRKHrN-RqBWEL-5Ub1q1-9h9EzY-8MSc7a-bubhMc-4q42Ht-5Rt5De-r5itT2-5RxotW-dRKJgA-q8xnRH-r5fy6o-5Ub1th-9Px5o-9i9Ljn-dUCHL4-dUJjKW-e1cYv3-QDr4py-dRKHfQ-dUJjvJ-raop1B-5md4zz-qMTKYM-oAXhht-62ALQy-r59v5e-dUPkLo

A vintage example of a mass-produced valentine from America | Photo by Karen Horton via Flickr

Valentine’s Day Around the World: Surprising Customs and Celebrations

Modern Valentine’s day is very much a product of the various industries that benefit from it – namely, stationery, chocolate, flowers, and jewelry. Every year, billions of dollars are spent on these items, even in countries where Western holidays are frowned upon or outlawed have seen an upsurge in Valentine’s Day gifts in recent years.

South Korea & Japan

In Japan, Valentine’s Day is split into two events. On February 14, women give chocolates (either romantic “honmei-choco” or obligatory “giri-choco”) to men. A month later, on March 14—known as White Day—men return the gesture with gifts, often more expensive, such as jewelry, white chocolate, or even clothing.

South Korea takes it a step further with a third holiday on April 14, called “Black Day,” for singles to gather and eat jajangmyeon (black bean noodles) to commiserate.

Italy

Italy’s Valentine’s Day roots run deep, but modern celebrations include lovers visiting romantic spots like Verona, the home of Shakespeare’s Juliet, where they leave love letters or padlocks on Juliet’s balcony as symbols of commitment.

A crimson corridor in Verona. | Photo by Kevin Poh, Via Flickr https://www.flickr.com/photos/kevinpoh/5749853192/in/photolist-9L6v2S-oJ2rwc-pqE7qG-fSC5QU-9L3Fxx-e8tQ99-6CuYkR-aGrEm4-95DuH7-zLGJHq-oTDvU3-8khpSQ-e3fqfm-qDdNju-oU3LsJ-hKGq2A-i5BEXy-ecu5t6-aXNo6a-rqN9TG-6x5YEs-qkfVvu-q3ukwG-8xKCzz-myFfS-eA1p5h-raVBnx-9RExEU-A6bTud-bk5UQe-e8vmmQ-f8ngRs-rfjSMi-8TnE5F-92yA5V-7ddR4J-4bisCP-aMSQDg-hKwTHN-b8qKat-uaSX9-6ydptE-nVQDQb-kMyHZu-k5GdHK-8kPCVX-bgtoqB-6QoQsZ-9RESkS-6KUhKx

A crimson corridor in Verona – what could be more romantic? Photo by Kevin Poh, Via Flickr

Wales

Wales celebrates St. Dwynwen’s Day on January 25 instead of Valentine’s Day. Couples exchange carved wooden love spoons, a tradition dating back to the 17th century.

South Africa

Women participate in an old Roman tradition called Lupercalia by pinning the name of their crush or love interest on their sleeve, literally “wearing their heart on their sleeve.”

France

Known as one of the most romantic countries, France used to host une loterie d’amour (a lottery of love), where men and women called out to find matches. Though now banned, it remains another quirky piece of Valentine’s history.

three round long bars of chocolate with hazelnuts in the background

Forget French chocolates – what about a romantic lottery? Photo credit: Wikipedia

Saudi Arabia

In Saudi Arabia, where the holiday is illegal, there is a thriving black market for red roses and heart-shaped chocolates in February.

Denmark

Instead of red roses, Danes exchange pressed white flowers called snowdrops. Men also send humorous poems or rhymes called “gaekkebrev” anonymously, and women try to guess their admirers’ identities.

Philippines

Valentine’s Day is a popular date for mass weddings. Hundreds or even thousands of couples gather in public spaces to tie the knot in ceremonies often sponsored by the government.

Brazil

Brazilians celebrate Dia dos Namorados (“Lovers’ Day”) on June 12 rather than February 14. The day is marked with gift exchanges, music, and festivals, as February is dedicated to Carnival celebrations.

Holy Relics and Holidays: A Touristy Draw

It can be hard to read this and not wonder, “All of these traditions came from an old skull sitting in a church in Rome?” But it’s not just any old skull.

Relics comprised the backbone of Rome’s original tourism industry, which sprung up during the Middle Ages. In fact, relics were what drew Christian Pilgrims to the city’s many churches and holy sites. Relics became huge tourist draws because of the miraculous powers they were thought to contain – some of which could be transferred to the faithful who came in contact with them.

The Scala Sancta is one of the largest relics in the world. An entire stone staircase brought from the Holy Land by Saint Helena, it is supposedly the same one that Jesus ascended on his way to being judged by Pontius Pilate.

In our less credulous time, relics have lost some of their ability to draw visitors but they remain impressive, and sometimes macabre additions to many of the churches in Rome.

Update notice: This article was updated on January 13, 2025.

Want to see some of these relics for yourself? Join us in Rome on Crypts, Bones & Catacombs Tour! Uncover more mysterious and fascinating tales as you explore ancient burial grounds, secret rituals, and the eerie beauty of Rome’s underground world.